Step Back

I wanted to step back right here and just talk for a little bit about telling everyone that I had cancer, I think maybe I touched on it but I wanted to really let you know what happen during that process. Of course you already know the reactions from my sister and Mike. The afternoon that I found out about the cancer (when I came home from work) I remember telling my Dad, he just walked into the other room, came back in a bit later (he had been crying) and said, ok what are we going to do? The “we” is what got me, it was not “what are you going to do?”  “What are you and Mike going to do?”  It was what are WE going to do, we were in this together! I cannot tell you how that made me feel, I do not know how everyone else feels going through a cancer diagnosis but personally I cannot really explain it, but I felt alone, nobody had been through the battle in my family (Praise Jesus) so to hear “WE” was so awesome! I shared the news with my brother and his wife, who passed it on to my nephews, everyone was supportive and standoffish at the same time, that was perfectly fine I mean nobody really knows what to say to someone that just informed you they have breast cancer. My brother in law was told, my other nephews, basically my side of the family. I called my Mother In Law, she answered and said “Whats wrong?” this was before I had said anything, she just knew, she knew my worries after finding the spot, she prayed for and with me, talked to me whenever I wanted, she was great and again when I told her what I had found out she says to me, “so how do we tackle this?” Again there`s the “we” she told my sister in law, who sent me encouraging prayers almost everyday as well as my niece (so thankful for those). I was so thankful and blessed to have such an awesome support system (I still do!) The sad reality is, not everyone going through cancer has that, it is a lot and some people just cannot deal with it and choose not to go along for the ride, how you can just not be there for someone going through a sickness, really just anything detrimental is beyond me, but I learned it is not for me to question. My family and friends were phenomenal and for that I am grateful. I chose not to put anything about my breast cancer on social media while going through it (that was a personal preference.) When you are faced with a situation like cancer, you are not looking for pity, negativity, you honestly just want prayers and positivity, at least that was true for me. I found that often times when I would tell someone “outside my circle” about my diagnosis I would hear so many sad stories, so and so had that, she did not make it, so and so was so sick, so tired, while I did not mind hearing different stories about people, so fresh after being diagnosed I just wanted, no needed to hear positive things, so I kept my circle small and I am so glad I made that choice, not everyone will agree it was the right choice and that is ok, it was my choice and what was right for me at the time. 

When Life Gives You Lemons…Make Lemonade or Margaritas, whichever suits your fancy!