Appointment Day
It is finally here, the day of my appointment. Let me tell you I tried to stay busy all week but absolutely nothing took my mind off of “the bump” or the appointment. All week I would find myself feeling for “the bump” I guess I thought/prayed it was going to go away, it was a fluke, it was never there, whatever the case may be just make it GO AWAY! Of course each time, the damn thing was right there. I get up super early, remember she made me that wonderful 6:30am appointment (I really am thankful I got in!) I went to this appointment alone, I was not expecting to get any tests, results so I figured it was fine to go alone, I mean they were not going to do anything today, doctor appointments are a process after all. I get in the parking lot, let Mike know I am there (he was very aware of how anxious I was.) I sat there for a few minutes, I was early because I was not sure how traffic would be. I was trying to be positive, stay calm and tell myself everything was alright, next thing I knew I was bawling like a baby, the water works would not stop (I have not shared that with anyone until now.) I really needed to get myself together, I needed to get the nerve to walk through the door. I took a look at myself in the mirror, I was a mess but I figured who cares, they are not going to be looking at my face today (ha ha!) I make my way up to the door, I must say it felt so very far away! I went in, signed myself in believe it or not I was not the only one there at that time, that was a surprise, but I was glad I was not alone in there. The lady calls my name, gives me paperwork to fill out, hell I am surprised I could remember my name at this point much less fill out all these questions. I got through the never ending paperwork, with way to many questions. I return the paperwork and pen to the lady, only to be told to have a seat and they would call me shortly, dear lord can I just go back already was my only thought. About 30 minutes later (it seemed like 30 years) the lady calls my name and tells me to go on back, undress from the waist up, hang my clothes and have a seat in a chair against the wall. I sat in a chair next to a couple of ladies, we did start talking amongst ourselves, one was there for a normal appointment, she ask if I was ok (I assume because I looked a mess), I told them about my discovery (the bump) they gave me “the look” the I feel sorry for you one, then the one lady tells me there is life after breast cancer, WTH, I am not here because I have breast cancer, I am here to get a bump checked, I mean I did not want or need to hear this mess, it was WAY to early and I was WAY to nervous! By this time (because I had to hear her entire story) it was after 8:00am!! My appointment was at 6:30am and I have not moved from the chair against the wall, and by the way I was glad the lady with the never ending breast cancer story was well but geez, not what I needed to hear at that moment! Finally after forever, the nurse calls me for the mammogram, she asks me to place my finger on the spot I found, I did, she placed a lovely sticker over it and got down to business. She told me it would be uncomfortable because she had to adjust the machine to go low, I really did not care, just get what you need. She takes 2 pictures, then takes 2 more, tells me she got them and to put my arm back in the gown, only to tell me a minute later she needed to do another, why, why did she need to do another, what does she see, what does she know this is, so many things going through my mind.. She takes 2 more and tells me to have a seat back in the chairs against the wall (damn chairs!) I sit there another 45 or so minutes, and finally the lady takes me for an ultrasound. She was nice, talking about everyday life, then she says “Oh I see the place” well good for you was my thought, I was tired and scared, just do the ultrasound! She gets done (it took a while) and tells me to go to the back of the office and sit in one of the chairs (oh good, more damn chairs) I have a seat and am talking to a few ladies (thank heavens no more cancer stories this time) a lady calls me to a room, by this time it is around 10:30am, I have been here all morning. The doctor makes her way in, she says “we see a place” well no shit Sherlock! She tells me they want to do a biopsy, I am shaking of course, scared out of my mind, I ask her when can I get an appointment for that? She was like, oh we would like to do that today, I was not expecting that but lets do it! They take me to another room, it was an ultrasound guided biopsy. It really did not take that long, but man was it painful! When she was done, she told me how to care for the incision, just no getting it wet for a couple of days, change the bandage, the normal things, oh and don`t lift anything, hey at least I was out of housework for a few days (that was a bonus) She tells me it will take about a week for the results and she would be in touch. Yay, more waiting! I got out of that appointment after 1:00pm! WOW!!
When Life Gives You Lemons…Make Lemonade, or Margaritas, whichever suits your fancy!